The Impossible Life
by Annie Coomes
Summary: Set post The Impossible Planet except this time they didn't escape, they really did get that mortgage, and how wrong could they have possibly been?


**Summary:** Set post The Impossible Planet - except this time they didn't escape, they really did get that mortgage, and how wrong could they have possibly been?

* * *

The Impossible Life

_I can remember  
The very first time I cried  
How I wiped my eyes  
And buried the pain inside_

Rose let her head lean back against the hard plaster wall of her bedroom. Behind it she could hear the Doctor pacing restlessly across the woodened floor boards which heaved and whined under his constant presence. A single tear trickled down Rose's cheek, as her head fell forward against her knees; she looked out the window and up to the sky where a moon shone brightly. Rose tried to choke the sobs that ran through her as she remembered where they were.

_All of my memories  
Good and bad that's passed  
Didn't even take the time to realize_

_Staring at the cracks in the walls  
'Cos I'm waiting for it all to come to an end_

The Doctor walked along the room again and his fist hit the wall once more leaving a mark in the already dented plaster. He could hear her sobbing through the wall and it broke his heart. He longed for her to be alright, for them to return to the carelessness of their previous life – but it became too much. He couldn't cope with the registrants of a normal life, of a 9-5 job, of doors and carpets, of bills and mortgages – he couldn't deal with trying to please her. He knew that he loved her and that he always would, but it wasn't enough.

_Still I curl up right under the bed  
'Cos it's takin' over my head  
All over again_

Rose looked over at the clock and let out a sigh, it was only three in the morning, in three more hours they would have to get up again, go to work, come home, watch the T.V and eat chips – a life the Doctor had always despised. His face no longer lit up and his eyes no longer shone with intelligence and excitement, he was slowly dieing inside as he gave into life as a human – a life that was killing her as well. They'd tried to adjust to it after the crew of the sanctuary base had given them a lift to this planet. They'd tried to pretend they didn't care, they tried to remain friends but things had changed between them. They stilled loved one another – there was no doubt of that, but it was as though the more they looked at each other the more they realized what they were listening, and so they sat in silence day after day, waiting for a miracle.

_Sorry girl_

_Tell a tale for me  
'Cos I'm wondering  
How you really feel_

The Doctor walked out of his room and paused beside Rose's, he remembered how when they were in the Tardis he would pause outside her door and sometimes hear a soft sob as Rose reflected on the days pains. Now he rested his head against the door and listened to her cries, he longed to go into the room and hold her against his chest, promising everything would be alright just as he used to. But he couldn't – not anymore, he was so afraid of disappointing her that he distanced himself from her. Whatever he wanted to happen between them, it wasn't this.

_I'm a lonely girl  
I'll tell a tale for you  
'Cos I'm just trying to make  
All my dreams come true_

Rose closed her eyes as all her dreams for her future shot through her head, she tried to hold in a sob as she realized everything she'd ever wanted would never come true

Marriage

Kids

Everything that she couldn't expect from him. Everything that she couldn't ask him for – and she almost hated him for being unable to provide it. She looked at her broken reflection in the mirror and knew she could never love another – everyone was so plain after the Doctor. She loved the one man who could never love her back and it broke her bit by bit each day.

_Lying awake  
Watching the sunlight  
How the birds will sing  
As I count the rings around my eyes_

The Doctor's hand paused on the handle to her bedroom, this wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last. He needed so badly to confide in her, to rest his head on her stomach as she held him, he needed to hear her comforting words once again to fix the whole in his heart. But he wasn't brave enough – he was never brave enough to open the door – and so she continued to weep to herself.

_Constantly pushing  
The world I know aside  
I don't even feel the pain  
I don't even want to try_

They sat this way many times, and would do so in the future; Rose in her room, her back pressed against the door silently trembling as she longed for him to hold her. On the other side of the door the Doctor rested, his head pressed against the hardness of the wood, his soul throbbing for him to hold her but he could never summon the courage- it was like he had lost everything with the Tardis in the impossible planet. They both wept there, for what they had lost – Rose for her family, the Doctor for his Tardis, and both of them for each other. They were so close but never had felt so far apart.

_I'm looking for a way to become  
The person I dreamt up  
When I was 16  
Oh, nothing is ever enough  
Ooh, baby it ain't enough  
Or what it may seem_

They both stood up in perfect unison, they each knew the other stood behind the door – normally they would both turn away and crawl back into bed for a sleepless night and smile emptily at each other over the breakfast table but tonight was going to be different. Rose was tired of feeling sorry for himself – she turned to the handle and pulled the door open. She looked out into the hallway and saw the Doctor for the broken scared man he was.

His face was pale and his cheeks marked by tears, his eyes were deep and afraid as he watched her eyes which studied him, she stepped closer raising her hand to wipe the tears from his face

'Rose…' he choked. She shook her head

'Don't speak' she whispered as she moved her face closer to his, he raised his hand and brushed the remands of her tears from her face. He leant his forehead against hers

'Oh Rose' he murmured, he leant forward until his lips were moments away from hers, their eyes met and for the first time in years they really saw each other.

_Oh, I wanted to be a star  
Is life good to you, or is it bad?  
I can't tell, I can't tell anymore  
Do you even know what you have?  
I guess not, I guess not_

When their lips finally met after years of waiting and pain everything fell away. They forgot their lives, everything they had learnt to become accustomed to until they were just the Doctor and Rose again. Two people in love. Their lips met and finally they were united once more – they both had had enough hurt, enough nightmares and enough sleepless nights for a life time. It was time for them to reach out to one another, time for them to unite; finally they were going to be themselves again. Finally they were going to learn to love again. Rose smiled as she pressed his lips to his – her impossible life was seeming much and much more possible now, she lost herself in his kisses. It ws time to live and time to love – and they were going to do it so well, for all of eternity.


End file.
